My new life chapter, post-job, has been about confronting my writerly weaknesses. Before, when I couldn’t figure a play out, I had a good excuse: ahhhhhh not enough time, must write super fast, must wake up, most go to work, must fix this scene in three seconds, sure it’s not truly ‘fixed’ but not enough time! Etc. But now that it’s just me myself and play – said excuse no longer floats. And this biggest epiphany I’ve had, in terms of where I fall short as a playwright: Conflict. When it comes to blow-outs – the climax in which people say what they mean and throw down with beautiful, poignant, intelligent words – intelligently articulating their needs and woes – No Can Do. And this is really frustrating. EQUALLY frustrating is how it’s directly linked to ME. As a human being. I hate conflict. I don’t know if I’ve ever yelled at anyone in my LIFE. Had a huge fight. I am observant, scared, passive aggressive at worst. Option one: write observant, passive aggressive people (hello, we do exist.) Option two: CONFRONT my writerly – and subsequently personal – Weakness. AND SO: WHO WANTS TO FIGHT?!!!! No. People don’t change, they just change their hair. I might just have to take some comfort in the fact that the way I write is somehow an extension of who I am – and therefore, truthful at least?

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