Hello, it is me, Adult. I’m playing the smart card and getting all of my fancy dental work done before I lose my health insurance! No, I am not getting any sort of ‘grill’ installed, or any teeth whitening, though either would be nice. It turns out that all of my fillings from high school cavities (I worked at Party City, okay? I ate a lot of candy all the time, okay?) are falling out? Or old? And so, in 2 separate appointments, I’ve gotten them fixed. And um, the dentist really hurts. Who knew? I forgot. They stab you in the jaw and then you drool and then they drill you and all you can think about is how it would feel WERE IT TO NOT BE NUMBED but sadly you are an adult so you can’t cry for your mommy. Nor do they give you a lollipop.

Which causes more cavities.

So that you have to go back to the dentist.

Oh, America.