On Pancakes

images.jpegI’m realizing that if I’m ever going to make any money blogging – I need to blog – like – ABOUT something – right. So this is henceforth not a journal, but an Important Thing about Things that are Significant.

Culturally, Cosmically.

See how long it takes me until I turn back to my own thoughts and sentiments.

Five. Four. Three. Two. One.

Yesterday, I made blueberry pancakes. It was hard. The first one always sucks. One must get the hang of it. Why does it never turn out as well as Mom made? Never? Served with breakfast sasauges and scrambled eggs, this savory Sunday morning Simple morningsupper is guarenteed to please any boyfriend.

I have faith that I could actually write ‘about’ something. I think I’m just getting the hang of it first. But if someone were to say: Bekah – I really, for the love of God, I really need you to blog about Dry Erase Boards. Darfur. Stinky Shoes. Fake Ten Dollar Bills. Grandma clothes. I could totally do it. I’ve sent a link to this to a few ads on Craigslist for bloggers – no response – ahem – embarassing. Maybe one day.

But see, look – watch me blog ‘sassy and satirical’ about a given thing. I can do it.

Here I go.

On Underwear

‘Ladies – seriously. Think twice if your underwear is tighter than the already tight clothing you are donning. We do not need to see the exact lines and intricate details of your sassy thong beneath your Summer dress as it constricts and molds itself it your back fat.
Virtually any amount of back fat can be concealed with the proper size underwear – nearly invisible.
I reccomend the lacy thong from Gap Body – Just 3 for $24. These comfy lil bitches are cute and barely there, and go up to size XL. You’ll have the comfort of knowing that yes, you are wearing underwear, no: you did not forget; with the added assurance that not Everyone and their Mother can see your lady business.
Repeat the same logic when it comes to regular underwear, as well. If they hug your butt cheeks so bad – wear them only underneath clothes that allow the freedom of this hugging.’

Omg I’m so gifted. Humph. That was lame. But I really do feel strongly about really tight underwear. I don’t get it. I hate to see ladies spilling out of their clothes for no reason.
Like cramming themselves into smaller sizes just to wear that size.

I am the same height and weight as Tyra Banks and mandy moore when the magazines started calling them fat – so they switched to like salmon fillets and strange things with millet and grape fruit and 45 min work outs and now at 135 – they are normal.

But I like pancakes.

No but on the serious for real for real – an idea I DO have for this blog – is that other young/emerging playwrights can read it- we can all read each other’s – learn from each other’s victories/mistakes – where to send or not send our plays – what groups to get involved with – daily inspiration/ affirmation/tricks that help us keep writing.

So on that note – the playwright thing I have to say today – yesterday I was at the computer lab for 4 hours – working on one scene – the last scene in the first act of YMGN, the beast I’ve been trying to fix. I was going through it painfully, slowly, REALLY trying to FIX. Not just add words. At first I was like -what the hell am I doing? I am accomplishing anything? This is taking FOREVER. Then I realized – this is actual work. This – is what they call WORK.

OH.

I had a moment about it. I really did.

And when I emerged from the computer lab with new first act – having shaved off ten pages – I felt legit.

Then I stepped in gum.

My Dad has a great idea for a TV show. I’d put it here, but then I’d have to kill you.

That’s the first time anyone has ever said that, ever.

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