1. There is is loud mf ing gay guy who always is transferring from the G to the E with me. He is so mf ing rude I could slap him a foot long. With like toasty roast beef slapping him upside the face and getting stuck in his hair. He is so loud and rude. He wears big headphones and dances and walks and he’s got one of those gay butts that sway really deliberately. And he pushes past people and yells at them if they cough or if they are in his way.

Now, see, everybody coughs. I understand being coughed ON – but these innocent MTA patrons are merely coughing to themselves – a morning cough – a clearing. There’s no need for him to freak out and mortify them.I’m just saying, the loud and the gays – must you be SO loud and gay? I know you are loud and gay. There is no need to remind me.

What you’re looking at is A Princess Grace.

Which leads me to Affirmation: I got the best rejection letter ever Yesterday! From the Princess Grace Awards. This is one of the best and biggest grants for emerging playwrights. Like ACTUALLY emerging playwrights. Not like – look at me – I am so emerging – look at me with my shows at Playwrights Horizons and my studio apartment and my Guggenheim.

Like the REAL emergers. We know who we are. We get EXCITED about rejection letters, because it makes us feel noticed, we live in Brooklyn, owe to much money and drink too much wine to forget about it. Also, we talk to our cats. I digress.

Back to the letter and my Affirmation – the letter was like – hey now – you didn’t get the grant – BUT YOU WERE A SEMI-FINALIST! This made me happy and I actually made a happy little sound like ‘humph’ but in a happy way. This award is VERY competitive and there were only 60 semi-finalists out of 300 or something, so i feel like 33% more special than I did before.Which is why I write plays I think. To feel special.

Pay Attention to me.

I do not like Evian. It’s like thick. It’s like lotion water. But since everyone at the this office is French, it’s what they prefer, so it’s all they have. It like slides down in an off sort of way that is not water-like.

Re: The Drama Play: I’m struggling now with revising my thesis play, You May Go Now: A marriage play, which had a reading at my school that did NOT go as swimmingly as I had plan – it was way over written, nobody got it – my teacher had made me believe all year that it – and I – were brillant – but now I realize – that’s sort of his job. But he is smart, and we know this, because below is his book.

Anywhoo – play is going up in September through Babel Theater Project, either way – I have til mid July to fix it – director gave me really good notes that I understand intelluctually but – I sat down last night to work on it – and yes – I wrote – yes – I changed things – but I feel like I was just making it fatter. Adding more words. Words that I like, yes – I write them and then I’m like oh, what I pretty little set of words. But that is not a PLAY. That is not DRAMATIC.What am I actually ACCOMPLISHING by just adding pretty words? The problems lie in the STORY.

I feel like ever since I started learning dramatic craft, it’s cock blocked my natural tendencies – so my full lengths from Grad School are a mess. I’m hoping it’s just a phase, and i will come out triumphant on the other side – I know you learn it and forget it – maybe I just haven’t remembered to forget it yet.Everyone at work today is in a bad mood and they’re yelling at each other about keywords and pyschics.

It is the french american war, and I sit in the middle, neutral and having to pee.