I need a clutch for the Emmy’s, I mean, literally just a small purse to hold that I can put my phone in, that I might Clutch in a picture. I don’t where women find …
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Clutch.
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HOW TO WEAR CLOTHES AND NOT DIE
1.) Look at the weather outside 2.) Observe that it’s apocalyptic in its heat 3.) Look in your closet 4.) Consider Pants 5.) Reject the idea of Pants 4.) Find a summer dress that’s barely …
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EYE’M MAD
DEAR WOMEN WHO CAN SEE: DON’T WEAR GLASSES THAT YOU DON’T ACTUALLY NEED TO SEE JUST BECAUSE THEY LOOK COOL. IT IS INSULTING TO PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY NEED GLASSES, LIKE TO SEE, WHICH IS THE …
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you wear what you eat
Sometimes, purely for my own glee and relaxation, I google a random thing and Dress and just look at the pictures. Bacon dress. Car dress. Infinity dress. Question dress. Today: Salad dress: VOW RENEWAL ANYONE? …
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the capsule wardrobe
Yesterday, I capsuled my wardrobe, which is a thing that women are now doing to their clothes. Women with arguably excess income (me) tend to sometimes (everyday) fill some unnamable void they feel with a …
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creatures
A massive sea creature that is maybe a squid or a whale or some new sort of thing just washed ashore in Indonesia. Among questions like WHAT and WHY, I am pondering this: isn’t it …
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why I need a uniform
Sometimes, or, if I’m being honest, ALL OF THE TIME, I spend more time than I should thinking about what I should wear to a thing. I place a lot of value on outside appearances …
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IT’S NOT REAL
After trying numerous (albeit drug store) brands of lipstick / stain, I am convinced that there is no such thing as a lipstick that does NOT make you look like you literally ate a bunch …
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HOT (GROSS)
LOOK AT MY BODY IT’S GOT CURVES AND NOT CURVES IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES ALSO IT’S GOT MY INTESTINES INSIDE OF IT
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fun things to do with $1290
– Pay your rent – Fly to europe and back – turn it into pennies and fill a kiddie pool and duck tales your way through it every morning before work – PURCHASE THESE WORST …