Growing up as an overweight, brown corduroy obsessed child, I always secretly knew that someday I’d blossom, get super hot and end up in a Calendar (section of newspaper) (because of theater) (not because of …
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Calendar Girl
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the witching hour
Experts and addicts and expert addicts say that alcoholics have a witching hour, a time of day when they always start to want a drink, for most, about 5 PM, the hovering inbetween day and …
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grown up spread
We had some friends over for a barbecue yesterday. Most of the conversations revolved around work and real estate and school districts and gestational diabetes, really confirming my suspicion that we are in our mid-30s. …
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I was definitely not born with it
Nice lady at makeup counter: Hi, can I help you? Me: Yes, um — my face is allergic to the make up I’ve been using, and so I need some other make up. Nice lady: …
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baby’s first high fashion moment
MOVE OVER BEYONCE I HAVE A PURSE THAT MATCHES MY NECKLACE THE NECKLACE ALSO MATCHES THE PURSE IT WORKS IN BOTH DIRECTIONS
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dead mall
Like most kids who grow up in the suburbs, when I was a kid, I fetishized the mall, like just so deeply and badly needed to get a ride there so I could get my …
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the rewrite
I’m in the middle of re-working a movie I wrote a few years ago. Rewriting pulls out the lose threads of my brain and makes everything, my Face, my Self, the World, feel unstable and …
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scriptpiphanies
I would just like to formally apologize to every actor who came to callbacks for The Cake last night for how much I was frantically writing during every read. If I were you, I would …
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He can / I can’t
Sometimes I forget that Morrison can dance his face off like a love interest in an movie a la good ol’ Bing Crosby days. He studied ballroom dance in high school, and so when the …
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how to prepare for international travel
1.) Research place. 2.) Purchase tickets. 3.) RESEARCH EVERY POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD GO WRONG IN SAID PLACE, OR JUST IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY IN GENERAL, AND THOROUGHLY CONVINCE YOURSELF THAT EACH OF THESE THINGS …