me, after watching Morrison eat a giant chicken parmesan sub, while I eat carrots:

Me: I’ve gained a few pounds back, can you tell?

Morrison:….I think you look great

Me: so you can tell?

Morrison: I think you look great

Me: You can tell I’ve gained weight?

Morrison: you look great

Me: SO YOU CAN TELL?!

Morrison: …………………………….

Me: ……………………………………………..

Morrison: not really

Me: (fully unhinged) so YES?!

Morrison turns and walks out of the house, and off into the night, and across the earth, in search of peace, in search of woman who won’t ask him such questions. His does not find one. He’s back in time breakfast. It’s waffles, which I watch him eat, pretending my black coffee is creme fraiche.