Why to marry my husband

There’s a lot of reasons why marrying Morrison was the best and most logical thing I’ve ever done, but the most recent one: this toilet training sticker chart that he custom made for Joe (NOTE: NOT POTTY TRAINING, AS POTTY IS THE WORST WORD, AKIN TO PANTY) complete with pee and poop car, and Joe in various states of undress celebrating his wins. Marrying a former teacher means learning will be fun for your kid. Teaching is NOT my strength. I’m not patient and I can’t hide my feelings. My strengths are comfort, providing, worrying, hovering, baking? Marry someone who is not You. We’re going with a combo of Oh Crap Butt naked weekend and sticker bribery and hopeful resolve? Pray for us. As always, we’re in good hands, ie my husband’s. My hands anxiously hold the paper towels in the next room, googling what’s next.

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