The Anniversary Game ™

Five years felt like a Thing, so Morrison and I headed to a Malibu hotel SANS JOE for a night. It just so happens that the hotel is also a wedding venue, and there were TWO weddings happening the night we were there. The only thing I love more than thinking about my own wedding is spying on other people’s weddings. So after dinner, fueled by wine, dressed like Assassins, we creepily snuck into both. The second wedding, I both made long sincere eye contact with the Bride AND stole a cookie for Morrison. Over the course of the night, we developed The Anniversary Game ™. You play it on your Anniversary, at a wedding venue. Below are SOME (our) rules but the first rule of The Anniversary Game ™ is to make up your own rules for The Anniversary Game ™. The Anniversary Game ™is available for your OWN amusement, and also coming soon to a theater near you.

  • 5 points if you make it inside of the actual reception
  • 5 points each if you see the Bride or Groom
  • 10 points if you eat the Food
  • 20 points if you get a piece of THE WEDDING CAKE
  • 50 points for joining the dance party and having literally no one notice that you don’t belong there
  • 100 points for a dance with the Bride or Groom
  • 150 points if you find the bride or groom crying and you give them a pep talk
  • 200 points if you end up revealing to the bride or groom, IT’S OUR ANNIVERSARY! and they say to YOU, Congratulations
  • 500 points if you get so in their heads that they ask YOU for marriage advice
  • 750 points if you get so in the Bride or Groom’s head that THEY VOLUNTARILY ASK TO SEE PICTURES OF YOUR WEDDING.
  • 1000 points for getting kicked out
  • 2000 points if along the way, you learn a meaningful and profound lesson about your OWN marriage.

Leave a Reply