I have a brand, or maybe it’s my essence? Or a pattern? It’s Whimsical Food Accidents. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve stained myself or my clothes or an important document in some absurd way, with some edible or food related thing. I now have three fantastic examples, which I think merits a list. First, pictured above, while in Palm Springs, it was so hot that my Southern Living Magazine melted onto my sweat, literally tattooing a recipe for Banana Pudding Cake onto my thighs. Also, I had my brand new leased car for about ten minutes before I left the wax exterior of a tiny wheel of cheese in the cupholder, and the wax melted completely down into the cupholder and I’m pretty sure it will be there forever. Lastly, there is a piece of chocolate in the inside of my purse pocket that has been there so long, it has become one with the leather, and every time I pull a pen out of my purse, there are tiny chunks of chocolate stuck to it. I want to change, I want to be a grown up who doesn’t leave a trail of crushed skittles behind her, but also, I want to always be Her, who is Myself.