I think I’m going to Sidebar a career as a Producer of Pornography for Pregnant women. Scenarios will include:

• Man with shoulders broad from hours of pulling weeds out of the front yard sprinkles Cheese over the Enchiladas that he made
• Man rubs that part of Woman’s Hip that now has phantom pain stabbing through it while telling Woman that she looks Exactly like she did Five Years Ago
• Man, unprompted, Empties Dishwasher
• Woman watches while Man folds tiny pairs of Pants and stacks them on a Shelf
• Man takes Woman very Seriously while she cries because Gummy Bears are so Small