YES, IT HOLDS UP

I confess that at least once a month, if not weekly, I think about the 90’s movie, Junior, in which Arnold Schwarzenegger CARRIES A BABY TO TERM. When I think about it, I’m usually wondering, HOW DID THEY MAKE THE MAN PREGNANT? I’m shacked up with SIL Jacy for the weekend, and we decided to do a deep dive into the ‘movies in which pregnancy is very easy and just happens because you think about it and three minutes later you’re in your second trimester’ section of Blockbuster. Last night, we revisited Junior, and first and foremost, Arnold becomes pregnant after they place an embryo in his perineal cavity, or in layman’s terms, HIS ACTUAL BUTT. Arnold then spends the movie with the raging hormones of a pregnant woman. He feels insecure about his looks, shoves pigs in a blanket into his mouth, cries at commercials, and it one critical scene, shouts MY BODY MY CHOICE at the villain while wearing floppy, soft 90’s Eileen Fisher. And it’s somehow also a supremely satisfying love story, in with he realizes his egg donor is actually Emma Thompson, the nerdy doctor he’s already in love with. Fortunately, that sex scene is NOT a part of the movie, which feels….backwards. Every moment is horrible, regrettable, flawless, heartwarming and nauseating. I highly recommend to any woman on a fertility journey, or any man wondering if he might ever be able to carry a baby to term, in his butt.

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