You’re not a Cat person, you say. You’re not an Animal Person even, you say. BUT THEN I ASK YOU: ARE YOU IN FACT A PERSON AT ALL? AND I ALSO ASK YOU: HAVE YOU NEVER HAD YOUR SOUL EXAMINED BY A CREATURE WHO HEARD YOUR WORRY AND SAD FROM ACROSS THE HOUSE AND EMERGED SOFTLY AS IF UNBEKNOWNST TO YOU, YOUR HEART CALLED TO HIM AND HE LITERALLY PUTS HIS HANDPAWS ON YOU AS IF TO SAY, I AM HERE, AND NO I DO NOT CONTROL THE UNIVERSE BUT JUST KNOW THESE SIMPLE FACTS: I EXIST, AND YOU ARE FINE?

CLEARLY YOU HAVE NOT