If you were NOT the kind of child who was raised with the kind of delusional narcissism and wonder that compelled you to tie a note to a balloon and release it into the air, in hopes that it might reach some foreign country, only to find out that it made it as far as Greensboro, but still a very nice man found it and thought it was just as a big of a deal as you did, and so you kept the letter to look at in moments when you need to remember what it’s like to believe that good things can happen, THEN I TRULY FEEL SORRY FOR YOU, JUST LIKE YOU FEEL SORRY FOR ME FOR NOT KNOWING HOW TO NOT WRITE RUN ON SENTENCES.