Kind, well, intentioned doctor: So, have you been taking your Prenatal Vitamins?
Me: Are you serious?
(A TRAGIC, TRIUMPHANT SONG OF LES MISERABLES PROPORTIONS BEGINS. I stand on the table, wearing nothing but paper. I start to sing.)
I HAVE BEEN TAKING THEM FOR YEARS
MADAM, I AM A PRENATAL VITAMIN
I BLEED FISH OIL AND FOLIC ACID!
MADAM, I TAKE THEM DAILY, BLINDLY, MERCILESSLY,
SOMETIMES I JUST EAT THEM AS SNACKSSSSSSSS!!!!
(Calmly, I sit back down on the table.)
Doctor: Okay, well. Keep on taking them.
Me: WILL DO.