(Except for Dan who is my brother, not my cousin)

(Also except for Morrison, who is also not my cousin)

(But wouldn’t THAT have been a fun twist)

We are Gathered in Cleveland, Ohio, which, btw, I just learned is east of Illinois and north of West Virginia, for cousin Elli’s wedding. There are something absurd like 32 cousins on my Moms side, and whenever we get to see each other, we do what cousins are meant to do, by which I mean VICIOUSLY SHAME AND TROLL ALL OF THE OTHER COUSINS WHO DIDN’T SHOW UP.