While some girls butts are like little festive cupcakes on bakery counters, short like catch phrases, mine is like a run on sentence or maybe like a floor pillow that can hold multiple people.  Fortunately, there are Products designed for this. Not only did I get us a toilet with an ‘elongated seat’ for our new bathroom, I now have acquired jeans with a ‘a ten inch rise’ which is overpriced denim speak for ‘jeans that can hang with your long, long butt as it searches for the end to its thought, as it extends past time zones and ankles.’   *Note: pictured jeans are about 1/10th the size of my actual jeans on my actual butt. And also whatever you do, do not do a google image search for long butts.