Now that I’m a locked down and spoken for and happily married woman person, I truly have only one regret: I can no longer be spurned or rejected by someone I’m deeply in love with. More specifically, I can never again sing-scream through tears I’LL GET OVER YOUUUUUUU, I KNOW I WILL, I’LL PRETEND MY SHIP’S NOT SINKING, AND I’LL TELL MYSELF, I’M OVER YOU, CAUSE I’M THE KING OF WISHFUL THINKINGGGGGGGGGGG. I mean, I can sing it all I want, and believe you me, I do. But it’s not the same. Woe is not me. Instead, comfort is me. Warmth and stability are me. Perhaps instead: I’LL BE MARRIED TO YOU / I KNOW I WILL / I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT ALL YOUR SOUNNNNNDS MEAN / AND I’LL TELL MYSELF / LET’S STOP BY TRADER JOES ON THE WAY HOME BECAUSE I THINK WE’RE OUT OF OLIVE OIL?