Oftentimes when I read an unfavorable review of a play of mine, my first thought is to send the reviewer a long and earnest email defending my work, but I usually talk myself out of it, let the impulse fade. Also, what is a blog if not a VERY SAFE PLACE TO INDIRECTLY SHOUT THINGS AT PEOPLE? And so today, in this safe place: HEY REVIEWERS, IF YOU DON’T LIKE MY PLAY, THAT IS TOTALLY FINE AND GREAT AND YOU ARE ENTITLED TO YOUR OPINION, BUT MAYBE DON’T POST THE REVIEW ON FACEBOOK AND TAG ME PERSONALLY IN IT SO THAT MY GRANDMOTHER / KINDERGARTEN TEACHER / HIGH SCHOOL EX BOYFRIENDS / CO-WORKERS / KIDS THAT I USED TO BABYSIT THAT ARE NOW IN COLLEGE CAN ALL KNOW WHAT A TERRIBLE WRITER AND HUMAN BEING YOU THINK I AM? Maybe leave my falsely constructed sense of a positive self image, a page where I’m doing okay and I only have one chin, where life is grand, alone? Maybe just write and share your review with your publication, as you were hired to do, but maybe don’t come after me personally as if slapping my face with a glove? Maybe? Hmm?