I have spent most of my life ignoring my eyebrows like the two soft, pale Norwegian children’s beards that they naturally are. I spent none time or money ripping them out of my face, or pouring hot stuff on them and THEN ripping them out of my face, and I never quite understood why friends spent so much time / money doing so. But then, a few years ago, I started to notice that I might kind of look better, or at least more elegant or Scarlett Johannason-er or other things that living in LA makes you feel like you’re supposed to feel, if I shaped them sometimes, into pale but elegant children’s beards. And now, I’ve started dyeing them to match the hair on my head. That’s right. MY FACE HAIR HAS A STYLIST AND I LIKE IT. JUST GO AHEAD AND TOSS ME IN A VAT OF KOMBUCHA AND QUICK DRYING NAIL POLISH TOP COAT AND COVER THE LID WITH LARA BARS AND THEN TOSS ALL OF THAT INTO THE OCEAN, THNKS.