For my 35th birthday, I gifted myself with a 23 and me kit. Basically you spit into a vial and give the vial to the mailman and a month later they email you and tell you who you are. I am proud to announce that Je 23.5% Ashkenazi Jew. My whole adult life I have called myself a quarter Jewish, since my grandma was Jewish, and because Math,  but maybe I was just sort of clinging  to the idea, as it connected to me some profound past that I longed for. But today, IT IS ACTUALLY TRUE. Based strictly on google image search of the words, I can only assume that this beautiful woman is my great great great grandmother:

As for the other 76.5 percent, it’s mostly mall parking lots, triscuits and hair ties but DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT.