At some point, I decided to stick these words at the end of the The Cake script:

END OF PLAY.

NOTE: This is the end of the play part of the play. Ideally, upon exiting the theater, the audience is surprised with an actual CAKE, waiting for them. The wonderfully terrible grocery store cake that you never let yourself eat. Ideally, everyone then stands around together, eating cake.

And I will NEVER. REGRET IT.