Last night, I could not sleep. This has been happening more and more as the wedding draws closer and as life becomes larger, just in general. I laid there from 11 to 1 am, and then again from 5 to 6 AM, brain racing with worry. I would just like to leave a list here of the myriad of things that were rocketing through my brain, so that future self can really consider meditation or at least getting part of brain removed:
– what if none of the actors show up for the reading Saturday and it’s all my fault?
– LITTLE SIGNS TELLING PEOPLE WHERE TO GO?
– a detailed imagining of what my body would look like after bear attack
– WHAT WILL THE WEATHER BE IN TWO MONTHS? SOMEONE JUST TELL ME
– After having a baby do you ever sleep again or is it just a constant state of tired that sucks love and joy out of all things?
– I just really want some cheese
– am I losing my close friends in small and imperceptible ways until one day I look and they are no longer there?
– Will it ever be the same?
– I just — BRIE. JUST SOME BRIE.