My parents sent me these beautiful and unique roses that can only be described as Unicorn Bait for my impending birthday, which is Monday, not that I’m a person who cares about my birthday or needs attention on or surrounding the day OR THAT I NEED MY PARENTS TO SEND ME RAINBOW BRITE HAIR ACCESSORIES AS TOLD BY FLOWERS TO FEEL LOVED BECAUSE I’M TURNING 34 SO CLEARLY I NEED NONE OF THAT AND WILL SPEND THE DAY AT WORK, STEEPING IN MY OWN MATURITY AND SELFLESSNESS.