Today, on things that you have to do before you get married / poor you / life is grand: while you are trying to disappear into a whisp of baby’s breath, only eating almonds, you must, MUST, sample all of the foods and desserts, just to ensure that on the day, the food that you don’t even get to eat is on point. My friend from high school, Jessica, just so happens to be a brilliant pastry chef, and she’s gonna throw down with some chocolate pound cake and mini cobblers. The resort is gonna fix up some BBQ (MEAT AND VEGAN TO BOOT), fried chicken, mac n cheese, fried pickles, and so on and so forth. HEY, GUESS WHAT: Morrison and  I WILL BE EATING THE FOOD, even if it means spending our first meal together HIDING BENEATH A TABLE NEGLECTING ALL SOCIAL EXPECTATIONS.

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