Over fourth of July, some lady friends and I had the GENIUS IDEA to start a book club strictly for weird books we remember reading when we were kids. That’s right. A BOOK CLUB FOR OBSCURE OLD YA LITERATURE with wine and some of that popcorn that actually evaporates your insides. First up: House of Stairs, a book I did not read when I was growing up, but is one of the strangest things I have ever read. Basically five teenage orphans find themselves suddenly placed and trapped inside of a cavernous space filled with stairs. Their only way to get food is to enact a strange, methodical dance in front of a food machine. Naturally, throughout their quest for meat pellets, romance and jealousies and pretty standard teen angst prevail, but mostly, THEY HAVE TO DO A STRANGE METHODICAL DANCE TO GET FOOD. If you’re wondering how quickly I flew to the internet to see about movie rights it was IN FACT QUITE FAST, but sadly, a movie is of course already being made, so I’ll just work on my copy of a copy of a copy, HOUSE OF WATERSLIDES: a dramedy about a group of high school misfits locked in an abandoned waterpark who must do synchronized swimming for personal pan pizzas. COMING SOON.