Everyone has nifty  iPhone signatures these days, instead of just the standard ‘sent from my iPhone,’ which lets the recipient know that yes, you are also in the cult and bow daily at the temple of i. Some of my favorites: Sent from my head. Sent from my Briphone. Sent from the future. I should have one, too. I am a clever girl, am I not? Let’s workshop some ideas in this safe space.

– Sent from my phonetsetter

– Sent from your Mom

– Sent from my butt

– Sent passive aggressively

– Sent from my unrequited needs from middle school

– Donut, anyone?

– Sent instead of what I wrote first

– I’M IN YOUR HOUSE.