I am loving Bro time with Dan, who is an excellent tour guide, who walks just as fast as me, if not faster. And To my JOY AND DELIGHT, it turns out that he is a most suitable museum guide, too. Not only did he slay a few semesters of Art History in college, so he actually knows things, his commentary is on point. He took me through the Prado today, which is elegantly crammed full of Spanish, German, French, and English art spanning centuries, El Greco and Rembrandt and Zurburan, Enfentas y Kings. Some favorite guidance from my tour guide:

All these girls have their cans out.

There’s a hermaphrodite. It’s a girl with a dick.

When I noted that a certain statue was missing a certain appendage: The dicks always fall off. I bet you can’t find one dick in here.

….I in fact could barely find any dicks.