I have a problem. I am addicted to making and decorating Christmas cookies. I approach it with the same obsession and mania and precision that say, a heroin addict might approach their Fix. It settles me.

Worse things I could be addicted to:

– heroin

– drinking paint

– pony play (in which you dress up like a pony and feel as if you’ve found yourself and let people ride and pet you)

– a certain TLC show called My Strange Addiction in which people are addicted to things like drinking paint and pony play which I am not addicted to at all