If you’re curious, it IS possible to simultaneously feel equal parts most centered, grounded person there ever was, and total douchebag. Yesterday, I patroned the LA Float Center, where you go to just — float, a la the womb, a la the dead sea. You give them a mildly palatable amount of money, that is not so much that you won’t do it, but just enough to make you seriously question your priorities. They first  show you a short informational video about floating, in which a woman tearily tells you that floating is how she ‘truly met herself.’ You are then provided with a float pod, and then you just float.

For an hour, you just — float.

I genuinely struggle with shutting my brain off, opening my mind to thoughts that don’t involve my immediate world, so after about 10 minutes of obsessively re-positioning myself and making a mental checklist of the things I should think about / work on while floating (since the float itself was initially suggested to me when working on my Heaven play — as a way to get me closer to, well, there) — I finally shut down, and just floated.  I can’t say I had any profound thoughts or poems, but I did relax. Pondered things, not to the point of epiphany, but still. I then emerged, covered in salt, equal parts centered person and total (relaxed, happy) douche.