Rental Car Guy: Hi, did you have a reservation?

Me: Yes? for an economy car. But when I was flying in just now there was some pretty bad turbulence for a minute like the kind where you shout for your Mommy and possibly the pilots are also doing the same.

Rental Car Guy: Ohhhhhh, girl.

Me: Right? So inside of that moment I decided that I could rent an economy car, but also, I could rent a convertible instead and drive it up to Napa with my lady friend with the top down and just for a weekend and be that person, because I work really hard and I deserve it. Tell me I deserve it.

Rental Guy: Girl. You deserve it.

Me: I DO I DESERVE IT IT’S SO WEIRD OF YOU TO SAY THAT.

Rental Guy (looking at cars) Ohhhh girl.  I got something for you. Wait, what color you want?

Me: The red of Carpe Diem and impulsive fear-based decisions.

Rental Guy:  Girl. GIRL.

Me: ….Yes?

Rental Guy:…….GIRL.

Me: Go on.

Rental Guy: I got just the car for you. I’m so jealous.

Me: I am jealous of myself.

Rental Guy: You’re getting a great deal, too. Half off the market retailrentalbuy insuranceratepricelinecarfuelpriceperday.  Guaranteed.

Me: I understood none of that.

Rental Guy:  Just sign here, that’ll be 9,000 dollars.

Me: Could you sign it for me so that it’s not actually me that’s making this irrational decision, but instead, it’s something I was pressured into?

Rental Guy: Girl.

Me: You’re right. You’re right. I’ll sign.

…WORTH. EVERY. 100,000,000. PENNIES.