SEASONAL AGGRESSION!

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Say, are you worried about what to get your loved ones? Anxious over all the money you’re spending? Agonizing over which dress to wear to which fete? Concerned over commercialism? Why just CRUSH A WHOLE CRAPLOAD OF CANDY CANES. LIKE VERY AGGRESSIVELY WITH AN EMPTY WINE BOTTLE. Perhaps you’ll feel better. If not: sprinkle on fudge.

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