A NICE EXCITING PLACE TO SLEEP

If you are familiar with my body of work, please note that I am equally familiar with how much I have made this joke before, and also please note that I will continue to make this joke Forever.

Given that I’ve been having trouble falling asleep lately because I can’t seem to shut my brain off and ALSO because I keep convincing myself that there’s some sort of robber or murderer or robbermurder creeping in through my window, so much to the point where, the other night, I lay there ACTUALLY CONTEMPLATING BUYING A GUN, but then dashed this idea because the robbermurder would probably find the gun and shoot me with it, I decided that my bed deserved a grownup makeover, mostly involving down and soothing, optimistic flowers. 400 dollars later, I slept like a (large, worrysome) baby.