TODAY, ON BORING THINGS THAT ONLY RELATE TO MY LIFE, after months and months of I can’t print that / I can’t do that / I do not have a printer, I realized that I could man up and buy one. I haven’t had one in so long that suddenly, they are all wireless and kind of look like sleek leather shoes or J Crew satchels or robots and have strange trendy wood colored panels as if to say, I STILL MATTER. YOU STILL NEED ME IN YOUR LIFE. SINCERELY, PAPER.