I’d like to take a moment to acknowledge two terrifying, humiliating and hilarious moments that highlight the fact that while I did manage to complete grade, middle, high school, college and grad school, and while I may be creatively and visually intelligent, I’m basically an idiot.

Yesterday, while rehearsing outside,  pretty much in a wasp settlement:

ME:  There’s something wrong with these wasps. They’re carrying each other around, it’s crazy!

INTELLIGENT COLLABORATOR: …You mean mating?

ME:……

INTELLIGENT COLLABORATOR: ‘Daddy keeps trying to carry Mommy around!’

ME: I don’t know what sex is.

And then just now, while jogging:

NICE LADY FROM HER CAR: Hey, have you seen a big black dog?

ME: No, sorry!

NICE LADY FROM HER CAR: Okay, thanks!

ME: But if I see him,  I’ll tell him you’re looking for him.

NICE LADY FROM HER CAR:…Thank you?

ME (realizing):…. I guess I can’t really do that.

NICE LADY FROM HER CAR: Probably not.