How to Talk to your Dentist

Pleasant Dentist: Okay, (your name here), your teeth are looking pretty good, but I do feel like you should be flossing more, do you floss regularly?

You: I’M NOT A BAD PERSON. I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU’RE TREATING ME LIKE I AM.

Pleasant Dentist: No, you’re doing great, but …flossing more regularly would be good.

You: WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME.

Pleasant Dentist: ….Okay, also, if you look at these really disgusting close up pictures of the inside of your mouth that my hot assistant just awkwardly took, you’ll see some really disgusting pictures of your teeth. Do you drink a lot of coffee? Consume a lot of hard candies or gum? You’ll also see that —

You: WHY ARE YOU JUDGING ME.

Pleasant Dentist:  — that you’ve got a few cavities, so, we’re going to need to fill those.  I’d also recommend a deep cleaning. All together, these things will take 9 hours, 4 visits,  and cost five hundred dollars. Your face will be paralyzed for days.

You:…. I’M GOING TO NEED A SECOND OPINION.

Pleasant Dentist: I thought I was your second opinion.

You: I’M GOING TO NEED MANY OPINIONS.

Pleasant Dentist: Okay. Well, it was nice to see you, and have fun without teeth for the rest of your life.

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