A watched pot never produces Good Times; Pants that Fit

I’d just like to take a moment to acknowledge this universal phenomenon that extends beyond just impatiently glaring at pots on stoves. It kind of applies to everything. Whenever you say to yourself, I WILL GO TO THE MALL AND I WILL FIND A PAIR OF PANTS, or I WILL GO OUT TONIGHT HAVE A TRANSFORMATIVE EXPERIENCE, it never happens. Things only happen when you least expect them, organically but randomly. Try it. Tell yourself you’ll find pants and you’ll waste hours sifting through tshirts with mustaches on them, depressed. Declare that you will have a great night, and you’ll spend your evening with corked wine, talking to no one. I think it’s just a matter of expectations, and managing them, or rather, having none?  Lastly I’d like to acknowledge that it takes me about five minutes, and a deep drop-in to my Wordly Wise spelling books of elementary school, to spell Phenonmenon. Phenonemon. Phemonenon.


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