Google, you mindreader, you killer and creator of dreamers, you harbinger, you confuser, I love you. I just turned to you to ask you how often I should change my oil, and you suggested that I might also be wondering:

How often should I wash my hair?

How often should I clean my dog?

How often should I get a colonoscopy?

Google, I will take all of these answers, and then some. Just give me all of it. Thank you for informing me that it’s every 3,000 miles I should get my oil changed, but also 5,000, but also 10,000, but also every day, but also not at all.