I want to travel everywhere but also stay in one place and be stable. I want to live out of a bag but also have closets full of records and books and things that used to belong to my grandparents. I want to be financially stable and secure but also charitable, but also selfish, but also rich, but also grounded and poor. I want to be 20 and stupid and sheltered and often drunk but also old and dull, with kids and a house. I want to be organized but unplanned. I want to eat tater tots at 2 am and whipped cream for breakfast and not care but also I want to cleanse, go to bed at nine with  good book. I want to live in Bali but also next to my parents. I want a boyfriend who pushes me in puddles and shoplifts flowers for me but also a husband who holds my hand while I die. I want to know everything there is to know but also to know none of it and learn it all over again for the very first time.