Last night, I complimented young friend Mack on her young nice skin. Look at this puddum!
That’s right, as I age, I’m starting to pay attention to things like ‘coupons’ and ‘skin.’ Mack revealed her secret. It turns out, in high school, while I was pretty tied up making balloon arrangements and writing poems and giving myself irreversible eye herpes, every one else was taking Accutane. Being that I had no acne in high school (probably the ONLY thing I had going for me,) I was completely unaware of this miracle drug. I’m starting to lament all of the nights I went to bed without washing my face, and even more, all of the things I’ve overdone or not done in life – physically, emotionally, spiritually, that are now showing their irreversible affects. I wish I’d taken better care of myself, just in general. Either way, Accutane is technically now illegal, as it might accidentally cause you give birth to a baby with no ears, but gosh darnit, you look great while you’re doing it.