A handful of my new co-workers loathe the ‘!’ in scripts, and also emails. I’m horrified to admit that I’m a massive abuser of the !. I secretly love when I find myself in an email back and forth with a c0-abuser, in which we can be addicts together:

Hey! Great to hear from you! Thank you so much for the info! Have a great day! Let me just read this over! And I’ll get back to you ASAP!

And on and so forth until we’ve both practically baked pies for each other and tied them to primary colored helium balloons and left them outside of each other’s apartments.

It’s not just emails. In the writings,  a line feels flat to me if the character is not !. In emails, I’m playing defense, or making it abundantly clear that my tone is really happy! And positive! I’m like an Orthodonist’s secretary on her first day of work, fresh out of high school! My language is chirpy and lip-balmed. You can get back to me, whenever! I will get back to you ASAP! It’s great to hear from you! I wish we were at home making puppets out of bags! While, You can get back to me whenever. I will get back to you ASAP. It’s great to hear from you. I wish we were home, making puppets out of bags. Feels rude or flat. This perhaps stems from a greater and deeper desire to please and be liked, which is stupid! Stupid. I hereby embrace the period. I’m determined to trust it, let it be what it is, do what it does, which is to simply end a thought. I’m determined to trust that the reader, or recipient, can intuit that I am not planning their murder or harboring passive aggressive rage, despite my lack of exclamation points. If I am in fact planning murder, or harboring rage, I’ll just spell that out.

It’s great to hear from you. I am also coming to kill you, in your sleep.

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