Clutter.

Firstly, that is my favorite picture of clutter on all of the internet. I feel like it’s a perfect representation of my mental clutter, which is actually a fairly organized but completely unnecessary collection of really old shoes and sweaters and televisions. Secondly! I keep thinking about this thing my co-worker said to me –  that a while ago, she gave up worrying about her weight to ‘free up some harddrive space.’ I think some of the other writers then agreed, that this also happened for them after they had kids.  I love this image, our brains as harddrives that can only contain certain amounts of pictures and programs  and college papers and songs, and if you want more space, you must clean house. I think it’s fair to say that I waste too much time, not an absurd amount of time, but too much time worrying about whether or not I’m working out enough or whether or not I’m skinnier or fatter than I once was or was not. I sense that if I freed up some of this space, I’d have much more time and brainpower to grow spiritually and emotionally and intellectually. But even though I acknowledge this, will it actually take a baby forming inside me to actually shift my priorities? Or can’t I change this on my own, with like, Will? My Granddad once told me that when I was little, when I was playing, I always seemed stressed out,  like I wasn’t sure if I was doing the right thing. I seemed constantly worried that I should be doing something else. Years later, oh Hi, I am exactly the same way.

17 sentences later, I think what I’m saying is that I really need to find some Balance. Which they probably have at Target.

I should probably walk there, as it will then be exercise AND obtaining balance.

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