No more will we make our friends gather and pay attention to us, except for milestones! (AND I AM A YEAR AWAY FROM MY MILESTONE. I STILL HAVE ONE MORE  YEAR.) Instead, we should buy ourselves presents, or rather, things that wepossibly would have spent too much money on anyways, but can justify as birthday presents to self – specifically, one’s inner child who demands to be birthdayed, paid attention to, and spoiled. I’m sure you remember the great trying tragedy that fell upon me last summer, when my Ray Bans were brutally ganked. I have officially replaced them with lighter, less-fall off the face ones, and have also accidentally acquired a beautiful, delicate little turquoise necklace. Oops; yay.