My whole life* I have wanted to do that thing where you have lots of hair and you just sort of carelessly pile it onto the top of back of your head with a clip thing and go around like what’s up, whatever, I’m pretty, look at my messy hair. But my hair doesn’t really do that. But I have invested in a clip thing and am going to try now and go around like what’s up, look at my apathetic do. Chances are: if something doesn’t work with your hair, it never will, and you must accept this, but sometimes it’s fun, in that unproductive sort of way,  to wage war against your looks.

* I was probably concerned with other things when I was, say, five, but since then it’s pretty much just been this.