a bedtime story


Once upon a time there were some bedbugs and they sucked, and I hated them, and after much time and $, with the help of a few sketchy exterminators, I killed them. To death.

The bedbugs, know for there loyalty, decided  to simply move to Charleston, and wait for me there, quite patiently, in the Masters Inn (Mt. Pleasant. Do not stay there.) One night, Blaine and Bekah were about to go to sleep, stuffed with wine and pesto. Blaine said, good night Bekah. Bekah said, Good night Bl AHHHHHHHH GET OUT OF YOUR BED!!!!!! For she had spotted dark spots on the side of Blaine’s mattress. Bekah proceeded to tear apart Blaine’s bed, as, given her previous experience, she was clearly now a bugphobic lunatic.  Blaine thought Bekah was insane, but complied, and slept in Bekah’s bed instead. The next morning, sure enough, the bugs had bitten the crap out of both, so run away they did, back their respective homes, after making absolutely sure they did not bring any with them.

And so, children, um, keep your rooms clean? Or do not stay in cheap hotels? The end?

Seriously, the bedbugs. SEE YOU IN HELL.

Actually, I will not see you there, but have a great time BEING ON FIRE.

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