While bored and jury dutying, I decided that what I REALLY needed most in my life, the answer to any and all philosophical dilemnas, was a pair of clogs. And so, I searched. I found Jan’s Ugglebo clogs? One of those sketchy, old-timey looking websites that makes you think it’s a scam run by some guy in his basement in queens. But, the clogs were rad, made-to-order in Sweden, select your own leather, reasonably priced. But you couldn’t even order on the site, you just fill out this request form thing with your phone number. And so, I did.

Dun dun dunnnn.

I forgot about it until yesterday, sure enough, I got a call from Jans himself. Fans, Jans is real, and he is very Swedish, and he is very nice. We had a long conversation about life in New York ‘I come to New York in the Seventies and I make lot of money at Bank! But then I did not like it and moved to North Carolina! And now I sell clogs!’

 After a long heart to heart in which Jans and I shared frustrations of city life, credit card information and our feelings, I ordered my clogs (bright blue leather.)

So I say to ye: order some clogs from Jans!! He is so nice and they’re real affordable / adorable. He even makes man and baby clogs. Well techincally he doesn’t make them, I think his friends in Sweden do. But still, in my mind, I am hoping he looks something like this: