There is something nerve wracking about receiving large checks. I just received my first, for Oohrah! licensing. Yes, there was this immense feeling of YAY! and accomplishment and excitement. But then a weird paranoia. I could see the money turning into trips and piles of unworn sweaters and vodka sodas and crab cakes and leather chairs and Golden Tape Measure Bracelets and other items of interest. I could see the Student Loan monster devouring it like an appetizer. Or:  I could see it paying my rent while I write, but I could then see its sister, the neurosis of no steady income. I think the best thing to do, for now, is just pretend like it doesn’t exist – save it for a rainy day, or year, when I most need it?

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