Or: What I am now Rubbing on my face.

Ahem.

‘You should use Laura Mercier face stuff and color face stuff. It makes your face smell nice which is kind of great, though you never quite knew a face could smell bad. But it can. And it’s so much better if it smells good. Also, it’s super soft and makes you look less cracked out and more like a Unit of Person. It does fun highlight-y things to your face that make you feel like you take care of yourself. Also it’s fun to go to Lord and Taylor and pretend to be Anne Hathaway and ask people what color face stuff you should use and make them put it on you. In conclusion, you should definitely put some Laura Mercier on your face. It just feels so right.’