WARNING TO ELIZABETH CASTORIA OF VEG NEWS: DO NOT READ, I AM ASHAMED.

But:

I was treated to din last night by fellow new schoolers, Zoe and Dustin, as thanks for a scene I wrote for them for a showcase. (Um, best thanks EVER.) Being that the scene was about a married couple engaged in a vicious home-Biggest Loser competition, I found it only fitting that we totally gorge ourselves to death – so I suggested Hill Country. I hadn’t been but my an old roommate used to work there, and told tales. Oh, the tales were true.

Upon entering you’re given a meal ticket – you then go up to the counter (a side counter, a meat counter) and pick out what you’d like – Slabs of ribs and brisket are placed on your tray on a big ol piece a meat paper, with thick slices of white bread.

Then: green bean casserole. Slaw. Corn casserole. Mac n Cheese. Spicy Deviled Eggs. Baked beans.

Then: Banana pudding. Peanut Butter and Jelly cupcakes.

Meanwhile: cocktails.

Then: We died.