my heart hurts

Has anyone been on the train with this one homeless woman  – she pretty much never has shoes, has a slight speech impediment – and ‘doesn’t want something for nothing’ as she puts it – she’s not begging, no sir – she sings for her supper. But she only knows one song, ‘Have yourself a Merry little Christmas’ and she moves down the train, literally singing it to each person on the train, one by one, the sincerest thing you ever did see. Last night I saw a girl slip her a twenty and I nearly cried. This reminds me of the time that my Mom came to visit and there was a particularly awful seeming homeless woman on the corner on 17th and 5th (kind of an odd corner for one) and my Mom wanted to call the cops and she wouldn’t leave the woman until she felt like she was okay. And I also think it’s terrible that men feel so in despair re: money and re: life that they must kill their whole families and also themselves. And then just now, I googled water-boarding because I never QUITE understood it exactly, and now I wish I hadn’t.

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